The Theory of Leisure

You know what happens, every time I have some free time? Some time I could invest doing all the things I want to do when I don’t have the time?

I just do nothing. I hang around, play a bit of piano just to not feel so lazy and then I stay in bed or on my couch all day, surfing through the internet, watching videos and I don’t even get dressed properly. I feel stinky and take my time thinking about how horrible it is to do nothing at all. But still I can’t move my ass to at least get a shower.  I have all day, I might take a shower later. But the truth is: you don’t. The moment you realize you have nothing to do you get paralyzed. The only way to get out of bed is calling a friend to come over, but even then I stay in bed as long as possible, only to feel stinky, dirty and absolutely tired when my friend is here.

If at least I felt better the next day, in some way relaxed and ready to work again. But no way, the next day I feel lousy, even more tired before and have a bad conscience. You know what? I just can’t cope with leisure. Thats why normally I have two jobs and work 7 days a week. It’s kind of sad I can’t even enjoy my holiday and think all day about “Just drop in at work, just to see how everything’s going and if they need my help”.

I’m afraid I’m a workaholic….

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